THE WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE...The Diary continues

THE POWER OF WORDS...THE CAUSE AND THE EFFECT
The words we speak are just as leathal as injecting oxygen into your veins...The pain felt as your words peirce the ears like the needle to the wrist, the acidity of the words a pushing movement on the suringe. Now i Know we have all gone through the verbal-tud-of-war where some out smart us in insults or we are the verbal exectutioner. Now I ask you...have you EVER FELT

EVER FELT

Ever felt the need to talk,only to find there's no one to talk to?
you begin to wonder how long must you wait to find come one to talk to,
you stare at your fone hoping it rings.

Ever felt the need to be hugged
not by anyone in particular,
just that need to be embraced by someone or something.

Ever felt the shivers of fear down your back
not knowing whats causing them.
you remember the movie you watched last night,
you hear the ghostly child like whispers in your ear.
But you are alone.

Ever wondered,
ever thought of what your words are doing to someone.
ever felt how the GEEK in your school feels every time you dish out unnessesary comments,
The comments which your MOTHER or FATHER dished out to you to lift their spirits.

Ever felt the pain
the pain of being the social ot cast
the pain of being the kone who is always dissed
the pain of crying yourself to sleep
well take time and reed this poem which I wrote after on of my friends tried to commit suicide.
All because she felt unwanted
all because she felt defieted
defieted by words that hit her from every direction
defieted by the stares she gets from the cool crew, all because she was DIFFERENT.
ALL HER PAIN IS WHAT LEAD TO HER SUICIDE

This piece is called  SLIT MY WRISTS written after someone close to my circle of then friends attempted suicide. I took a walk in her shoes, and the pain i felt was real the pen to paper as my tears begun to flow... All because of words strung together to hurt another...

SLIT MY WRISTS
Intro
Just as I try to get up
I trip and fall, deeper and deeper
My soul is drifting further and further away
My dreams have faded
Self-destruction is where I’m headed


I’m sitting here thinking, my heart is bleeding
My soul is sinking, my spirit’s screaming
I’m in the ninth grade, learning from the bad choices I’ve made
Hearing voices in my head as my dreams begin to fade
As an African beauty my life is a beast
Every night I cry wishing I could die

The life that I live isn’t worth living
The love that I give isn’t the love I receive
People won’t believe me, instead they deceive me
Being a social outcast how long is it going to last
I go to sleep wishing I don’t wake up, one day I’ll just take the risk just sit down and slit my wrist
In the end I’ll wind up dead.
My pain inside will lead to my suicide.

Lying here thinking (empty thoughts)
My soul is sinking (my heart is pounding)
My dreams were real (but not anymore)
People just amaze me (I think I’m going crazy)
Hanging with the wrong crowed (the pain inside I’ve tried to hide)
Trying to be cool, I end up being everybody’s fool
Always called the other chick (you wonder why I’m always sick)
All along I’ve lived in a dream, just woken up and realized it’s not what it seems
Everyday I think but my soul continues to sink


The life that I live isn’t worth living
The love that I give isn’t the love I receive
People won’t believe me, instead they deceive me
Being a social outcast how long is it going to last
I go to sleep wishing I don’t wake up, one day I’ll just take the risk just sit down and slit my wrist
In the end I’ll wind up dead.
My pain inside will lead to my suicide.

In my imagination I’m a part of a generation overworked by expectations
Hope you realize the pain inside my eyes (this I cannot hide)
Can’t take the pain (feels like I’m going insane)
Your words are as sharp as a needle, piercing my heart, injecting poison in my soul
Slowly dying, you can’t stop lying but because of you I can’t stop crying
What’s it worth, cant take the hurt of being everybody’s fool
Just because I want to be cool
My feelings stuck in a bottle, I thought I’d reached the bottom.
An emotional load very soon I’ll explode
The bottle will break no more pain my heart can take
The pain that I bottle inside is what will lead to my suicide

As I cry I wonder why I’d rather die, am I prepared to never see the sky?
My eyes covered by the dark grey mist, don’t think I can take the risk and slit my wrist.

My heart’s still bleeding
My soul’s still sinking
My spirit’s still screaming
Because of the pain I’ve stopped dreaming
These voices in my head saying I’m better off dead
As I think, cry and dream my soul sinks deeper and deeper
My heart pumps harder and harder causing it to bleeding heavier and heavier
My spirit screams louder and louder
It’s the pain inside that will lead to my suicide, too much pain I’ve had to hide
In the end I’ll wind up dead, the bottled pain inside is what lead to my suicide


The rate of teen suicide has grown, rate of teens killing each others has escalated.
Now take the time to reflect on your life and ask if you EVER FELT...

A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE PT1

 There comes a time in our lives when we seem to be drifters, our minds invoulentarily drift to wrelms unknown to the mortal cacoons our souls are bound to grace and torment our mother...Azania which we call africa.

This is the one of the first poems i ever wrote in  2004 and placed it on a blog in 2006.

 I wrote as i drifted away into a world so beautiful a world so bright...a world I call my poetic sanctuary. For I dream, You dream, the difference is I was dubbed the POETIC DREAMER...

POETIC DREAMER

The poetic dreamer
Is what I am?
My mind closes its eyes
To see the world in my mind
My world of poet dreamers
Walking with their heads in the clouds
Eyes wide open.
In this world your pain you cannot hide.
Walking side by side with fellow dreamers
I walk in my world.
The world of the poetic dreamer
Before I was dubbed the poetic dreamer
I was just a dreamer with normal dreams
I lived in a normal world, but I wasn’t normal
I am not a normal kid
I am a dreamer of note
I dream to escape from the pains of this world
I dream of my own world
A world where words, notions and genuine emotions are painted in the sky
Where genuine emotions and expressions are yours
I was always in a daze, and I still am
I always was and still am poetic
As a dreamer I write.
Transferring my emotions to paper
Poetic and a dreamer
It was my destiny to be the Poetic dreamer.
As a child of destiny
My destiny will be fulfilled.
I am proud to be dubbed the poetic dreamer.

THE BEGINING

Humbled greetings my friends.

tis been a long time comming, finaly i have soaked up the courage to write my poetry on a blog. some of you probably knew my old blog titteled POETIC DREAMER. well I have grown out of that one, for those who have not seen the blog befor i will post some of  my poetry that i featured there.

ok so i know you probably wondering what it is am exactly on about... well allow me to introduce myself:
My name is Valencia Diamond and for those who don't know Diamond is NOT my real surname, born in a dusty town in Mpumalanga with deep Swati and Shangani roots( hence my unique skin tint that sometimes can be confused as orange,gold or bronze)... anywho  I began writing at the age of 9 and yes it was not good at all, influenced by the hip hop culture of the 90's but i kept on writing. my writing took a new direction at the age of 16 when i realized there was more to life then just partying,hiphop and usual teenage stuff, this was broaght about by a car accident that left me jump and rather depressed. So i found a sanctuary in poetry, that way i could escape the pains and the reality of the world... that way i could do the impossible... that way i could set my mind free for like a caged lion it longs to break free. Thats when i learnt how to CRY, SYMPATHIZE AND EMPATHIZE.

Open your hearts, clear your minds and take the journey with me, walk in my shoes, feel the emotions felt at the times when some of these works where written... this is my story, you too will meet the characters in who's shoes i walk... YOU too will feel the raw emotions, YOU TOO will feel their pain but most of all i HOPE some INSPIRATION is drawn from my works.


WELCOME to THE DIARY OF A BLAQUE DIAMOND